All through these years of adolescence and into the teens I had the companionship of a girl friend, I admir- ed girls so much that I was lost when one romance ended and would quickly find a replacement. I had no problem. in meeting girls or in getting them to go with me be- cause there were no apparent aspects of my personality to worry anyone but myself. Deep in my heart and deep in a trunk in the basement were locked my secret desires. A pair of pink panties(slightly frayed), a nylon slip, a garter belt, bra and stockings with runs in them made up my secret wardrobe. This was quite limiting of course, so I took a dress or two from my sister and kept them for awhile, making believe they were my very own. There were several narrow escapes when a friend would come to the door or a member of the family, would come home to soon. On two occasions I was found completely dressed by my mother. She naturally became upset and and asked a lot of question which I could not answer. I was told that this was wrong and boys just didn't wear girl's clothes, but I managed to convince my mother that I hadn't dressed since the last time she had found me. My strange behavior was soon forgotten although I know it caused my mother considerable worry.

After high school I made a good living at construc- tion work, but hated it. Later I tried driving race cars to prove masculinity to the world. After two seasons in professional racing and a few near appointments with death, I decided to join the Navy but was rejected due to flat feet. Soon after, however, Uncle Sam decided to draft me into the Army, flat feet and all, so I left my skirts behind and tried to win the Korean War. For almost a year the opportunity to dress was lost and my desires diminished a great deal. When I came home on leave, everything fell back into place. I was soon dressed in clothes I both loved and hated. While on another leave, my defense was completely shattered when I saw a lovely lace trimmed slip in the window of a dress shop. Before I knew what had happened I had purchased a complete outfit including some dainty red pumps. Checking into a motel, I enjoyed a peaceful weekend as a lady of fashion. It was at this time that I started to venture out- side of the locked rooms of fear. First for a few steps, then a walk and later a drive. The freedom of being away from home, plus the realization that I could pass

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